she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
