dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
