You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
