my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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