No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize