You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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