how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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