i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need to sanitize my soul.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
