Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app