You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.