Wat do u mean how?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.