The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
