She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize