so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize