Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
