no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
