Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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