Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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