ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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