finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
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we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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