Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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