Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
COCAINE IS GR8
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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