Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
