yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
