All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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