He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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