I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
ttyl tear gas
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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