I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize