Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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