Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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