so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My legs feel like baby dolphins
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
