why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
