your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
