being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
