My nipple is on Facebook.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
