ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
