She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize