It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
