If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
