I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
