I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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