Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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