have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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