This dress was meant to end up on your floor
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
