the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
