That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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