I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Floor bacon is actually really good
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
