Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
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so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
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But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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