I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
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I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
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I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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