Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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