A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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