Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
