i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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