You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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