I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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