i used baking grease as lip gloss
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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