KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize