its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
