PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
