This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
