I could have mohawked her pubes.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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