We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
