he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize