You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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