Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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