so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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